brooddoos

The holidays are over, at least for the sandwich-maker. No doubt you know someone who knows someone who’s trained their kids to get up half an hour early to make their own sandwiches to take to school. From my experience, this seems so improbable that it comes under the category of urban myth.

Advice abounds on how to fill een gezonde brooddoos (“bread box”) – a healthy lunchbox. Here’s a sample of the tips being dispensed. First, a desperate attempt to get kids to eat brown bread: smeer een dubbele boterham, één kant wit en de andere kant bruin – spread a double sandwich: one side white and the other side brown.

This seems fraught with snags. Aesthetically, a mess for young minds, and it requires two loaves, most of which will go stale before too long. It also calls to mind the secret running battle I have had for years at the baker’s where, when I ask for een bruin brood, I get the reply een grijs? (a grey), to which I confirm with ja, een bruin.

Here’s a suggestion on how to make those cheese sandwiches more appetising: snij de boterham in vierkantjes – cut the sandwich in squares; en prik ze op een satéstokje met een druif ertussen – and prick them on a saté stick with a grape in between. They will make a pleasing canapé for the playground, though the health and safety aspects of saté sticks have not really been thought through.

Some tips are a bit more down to earth: stop een yoghurt in de brooddoos – put a yoghurt in the lunch box; vul een pittabroodje met sla, geraspte wortelen en blokjes kip – fill pitta bread with lettuce, grated carrot and cubes of chicken.

From the above you can see that imagination is all you need at 7.15, though this one smacks of deceit: verpak fruit en rauwe groenten in snoeppapier – wrap fruit and raw vegetables in sweetie paper; een druif als een Napoleonbolletje en twee stengels selder als Twix – a grape as a Napoleon bonbon and two sticks of celery like a Twix.

Here’s another suggestion that puts the parent–child relationship at risk: geef uw kind frietjes mee naar school – give your child chips (French fries to some of you) to take to school. Hot or cold, you’re thinking it’s probably something that would cement the bond. However, the advice continues: van brood, wortel of kaas – made from bread, carrots or cheese. Chipsize bread, you can just see the tears rolling down the cheeks.