But then you have to remember that in Belgium jewellers are often armed ,and they schieten met scherp – shoot live ammunition (“with sharp”). In a recent robbery in Brussels, the jeweller’s gun was turned on him. And what did the robber have in his hand: het bleek een nepwapen te zijn – it turned out to be a fake weapon.

The biggest fake of the last year must be the Captain Boomer collective’s nepvis – dummy fish. Like the original captain in Moby Dick, the collective likes nothing better than to land a big one. The potvis – sperm whale lookalike fooled many of those who came to view the beast on the beach at Ostend, not washed up, but dumped during the night by a tractor.

We spelen een spel tussen fictie en realiteit – we are playing a game between fiction and reality, says Bart Van Peel of the collective. The illusion was not only visual. Each day rotting fish was stuffed into the 16-metre construction of steel, wood and polyester: “zoals een echte aangespoelde potvis zal het dier dag na dag wat meer beginnen stinken – as with a real sperm whale, the animal will begin to stink a little more each day.”

This coming Sunday gives us the opportunity to come face to face with “Fake?” That’s the title of this year’s Erfgoeddag – Heritage Day, when various buildings are open to the public all over Flanders and Brussels. In Antwerp, for example, you can visit the fine arts museum and discover how vervalsingen – forgeries are painted. Or in the Diamantmuseum you can hunt down the 7 nepdiamanten – fake diamonds out of all the rocks on display; you can also have that ring checked, if you dare.

The Modemuseum – Fashion Museum shows how kledingstukken op diverse manieren misleiden – clothes can mislead in different ways. The Nationaal Museum van Douane en Accijnzen – National Customs and Excise Museum is involved in the fight against namaakproducten – fake products. There you can see some frappante voorbeelden – striking examples of how crooks try to fool customs.

To finish, here is some nep Engels – fake English, or at least English that comes out more like Dutch. Tom Lanoye’s Richard III, or, as he charmingly titles his play, Risjaar Modderfokker Den Derde, contains a rich seam of nep Engels, perhaps too rich for printing here. Well, I can still include this unforgettable line which requires no translation: “A horse, a horse ... Mij fokking kroon voor maar één paard”.

www.erfgoeddag.be