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These painful-to-watch dares he accomplishes with panache, and foreign TV stations were interested in buying the format but backed out of a deal because they have no one with the multitalent to take on the challenges.

The not-so-young Tom must have been pleased to face the challenge of Hoe word ik schlagerzanger? – How do I become a (sweetly sentimental) pop singer? instead of learning how to hypnotise sharks.

This “Two Beers” song, which Tom co-wrote, is about a holiday in Spain: “Ik zag haar zitten in een bar – I saw her sitting in a bar”. His Spanish is limited to ordering two beers, which he does repeatedly. He discovers that elke Spanjaard heeft een snor – every Spaniard has a moustache, including his beloved Conchita. This surprise was probably added because snor rhymes with “por favor”.

Drivel of course, but his mission was to sing this at a schlager festival in May. The reception? De tent ging uit de bol – the place went crazy.

Tom has been invited to sing his hit at every kermis – fair in Flanders this summer. He said that he did not intend to make a habit of singing the song (he was probably afraid that singing it too often could damage his health), yet he has been spotted on many occasions giving everyone what they want.

“Dos Cervezas” was used as ammunition in a Flemish parliamentary debate about support for home-grown popular music. Apparently only 25% of music played on the main channels is Nederlandstalig – Dutch language.

But the real Flemish schlager singers are not happy. They are envious of Tom’s access to play time, and perhaps annoyed at how easy he made it look. As Danny Fabry, a long-serving crooner, complained: “Tom Waes kan niet eens zingen – Tom Waes can’t even sing.” More sour grapes from Salim Seghers: “Op één nummer de zot uithangen kan iedereen – Anyone can act the fool with one number.”

But the point is surely that most people can’t even do that. Are you curious to hear “Dos Cervezas”?

You’ll easily find it on YouTube and on Tom’s website. You are warned, however. Once you’ve heard the number, is het bijna onmogelijk om het uit je hoofd te zetten – it’s almost impossible to get out of your head.

www.een.be/programmas/tomtesterom

(August 11, 2024)