Talking Dutch: Can you stomach this job?
Belgium’s theme parks are looking for volunteers to rate its rides. The faint of heart need not apply
Derek Blyth on the gag economy
Waaghals met sterke maag – Daredevil with a strong stomach en stalen zenuwen – and nerves of steel om (gratis) achtbanen in Belgische pretparken te testen – to test (for free) roller coasters in Belgian theme parks.
But those aren’t the only qualifications you’ll need. Daarnaast – In addition moet de kandidaat een adrenalinejunkie zijn – the candidate has to be an adrenalin junkie, van hoogtes, snelheid en steile afdalingen houden – who loves heights, speed and steep drops, maar hij of zij moet ook – but he or she must also nauwkeurig en punctueel zijn – be precise and punctual.
Anything more you need to know? In totaal gaat het om zes pretparken – It involves a total of six theme parks, including Bobbejaanland, Boudewijn Seapark and Plopsaland De Panne.
De tester zal de rollercoasters van de attractieparken moeten beoordelen op verschillende criteria – The tester will have to judge the roller coasters on the basis of various criteria zoals misselijkheid en comfort – such as how sick you feel and comfort.
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So, what will you do in a typical day? Je staat voor de poorten van Bobbejaanland – You are standing in front of the gates at Bobbejaanland te trappelen van ongeduld – jumping up and down with impatience.
Zodra de deuren open zwiepen – As soon as the gates swing open loop je samen met je partner in crime meteen – you head off straight away with your partner in crime naar de eerste achtbaan – to the first roller coaster, om wachtrijen te ontlopen – to avoid the queues.
Thunk, clang, click, click, click. And off you go. Het testen gaat beginnen – The testing has begun.
You start with the Bob Express. Then you buckle yourself into the Dreamcatcher, followed by Speedy Bob and Revolution. But watch out for the next one. Wacht nog even – Wait a while met de draaiende achtbaan Naga Bay – before you go on the rotating Naga Bay roller coaster (pictured), tot de frites en frisdrank – until the chips and the fizzy drink die je voor de lunch gehad hebt – that you ate for lunch gezakt zijn – have gone down.
Once you’ve done the Naga Bay, you still have the El Rio water ride, the Sledge Hammer and finally the Typhoon. Job done.
En morgen? – What about tomorrow? Dan staat Bellewaerde op het programma – Then Bellewaerde is on the programme.
And how much can you expect to earn? Het gaat om een vrijwillige functie – This is a voluntary position, maar de gekozen kandidaat – but the selected candidate krijgt voor elk te testen attractiepark twee gratis toegangstickets – will receive two free entry tickets for every theme park they test, the website promises.
Solliciteer nu – Apply now. Some might call this the gig economy. But after a summer spent spinning round and upside down, it might be more like the gag economy.
Photo: Druyts.t/Wikimedia Commons
