Talking Dutch: He ain’t heavy, he’s my Billy

But now there’s a new hazard on the roads you need to know about. ‘Ikea-syndroom’ is gevaar op de weg – Ikea syndrome is a danger on the road, announced a recent headline in De Morgen.

At first, I thought they might be describing that feeling of hopeless defeat that comes over you at 17.45 on a Saturday after you’ve been struggling for three hours to assemble a Billy bookcase.

But it’s worse than that. Steeds meer bestuurders laden hun auto vol met spullen uit doe-het-zelfzaken – More and more drivers are packing their car with stuff from DIY stores, maar gaan onverstandig te werk – but they don’t do it properly. No, they set off into busy traffic with a Malm bed tied to the roof with some old string.

Vorig jaar werden op onze wegen bijna 4.000 pv’s opgesteld – Almost 4,000 traffic fines were issued last year, wegens verlies van lading – for losing a load. Maar dat is slechts het topje van de ijsberg – but that’s just the tip of the iceberg, want er slingert nog veel meer ongestraft op onze autowegen rond – because there are a lot more people driving recklessly on our motorways without being caught.

As you might have guessed, this phenomenon has been given a name. Ik noem dit het Ikea-syndroom – I call it Ikea syndrome, said Michaël Reul of the Union of Professional Transporters.

He believes something has to be done to stop the madness. Een of ander obstakel – Some obstacle or other, zorgt ervoor dat er binnen de kortste keren een verkeersinfarct ontstaat – will cause a traffic jam to build up in no time at all. Hoe drukker ons verkeer wordt – the more congested our roads get, hoe meer ladingverlies – the more loads fall off, en ook hoe meer ellende op de weg – and the more misery there is on the roads

For Danny Smagghe of the motoring organisation Touring, stupid drivers are to blame for all this misery. Geen tijd – no time, geen geld – no money, gemakzucht en onwetendheid – laziness and stupidity, alle redenen zijn blijkbaar goed om nonchalant met ladingen om te springen – all are apparently good reasons to set off nonchalantly with a load of stuff.

Jammer genoeg hebben zij hun nieuwe aankopen niet goed vastgemaakt – Unfortunately, they haven’t attached their new purchases properly, en binnen de kortste keren vliegt alles in het rond – and it isn’t long before everything is scattered all over the place.

It means a quick trip to Ikea for a new sofa can end up bringing most of Flanders to a standstill. One man’s Malm is another man’s misery. 

Photo: Graeme Newcomb/Flickr Commons