Talking Dutch: Let’s call the whole thing off

The same goes on in our own little part of the world where the Dutch say one thing and the Flemish say something completely different. When you live in one country, you don’t really notice the difference. But if you move across the border, you realise you are using Dutch words that no one around you understands.

The Flemish are fond of words that have an old-fashioned ring to them, whereas the Dutch like a word to be short and snappy. For example, the Flemish often use the word rijwiel – bicycle – whereas the Dutch just say fiets. The Flemish buy their stamps at the posterijen – post office – where the Dutch go to De Post.

When your clothes need to be dry cleaned, you take them to a droogkuis in Flanders, but to a stomerij or possibly a wasserij if you live in the Netherlands. When it comes to the sales, you see signs in Flanders announcing solden, whereas the Dutch shops have koopjes.

Things really begin to show when you are driving. If you have an accident, it is called an ongeluk in Flanders but an ongeval in the Netherlands. If you have to pull off the motorway onto the shoulder, you use the pechstrook in Flanders but the vluchtstrook in the Netherlands.

But watch out when you pull off the road in Flanders because apparently we gebruiken de pechstrook verkeerd – we don’t use the hard shoulder correctly, according to the Belgian traffic police. And that could result in an ongeluk.

Some differences are quite baffling to explain, like ordering water in a restaurant. The Dutch ask for Spa rood when they want sparkling water and Spa blauw if they want a still water. The reason for this is that the sparkling version of Spa mineral water comes in a bottle with a red label, whereas the still water has a blue label.

But don’t necessarily expect to be served Spa. Sometimes you will ask for a Spa rood in a Dutch café and get served sparkling water from Chaudfontaine. But it is still quite correct to call it Spa rood. In Flanders, you would never ask for Spa rood; that would be just silly. You just ask for bruisend or spuitwater if you want the bubbly variety or plat water if you want the other sort. 

But these differences are not really all that important. For most of the time, the people in Flanders and the Netherlands are speaking the same language – and drinking the same water. You call it Spa. We call it water. Let’s not call the whole thing off.