Repairs already needed to Central Station square

“The whole construction of the square is a catastrophe,” admitted Geoffroy Coomans de Brachène, the city’s alderman for town planning. Among the problems: a cycle path that culminates suddenly in a row of stone bollards; the use of an inferior quality of blue slate that has cracked in the cold; and a skylight over the underground Horta Gallery that is covered with roofing felt because it needs to serve as emergency parking.

The square was the work of Brussels contractor Wegebo, which so far has declined to comment. According to the city’s transport agency Beliris, which oversaw the project, the necessary repairs will be carried out “in the coming months” at the contractor’s own expense.

“I’m extremely annoyed about this, especially when you consider that people are so utterly fed up with the number of major works going on in the city,” Coomans de Brachène complained. “But starting over is unavoidable.”

In other station news, The Guardian newspaper has admitted it was behind the times with an article published last week that described Central Station as “cold, filthy, appallingly lit and stinking of urine”. The article provoked an immediate reaction from rail authority NMBS.

“I wonder if the author of the article has been in the station recently,” said spokesperson Leen Uyterhoeven. “The station has been renovated in recent years … with extra exits, more light and more people passing through. Even now, the passage between metro station and train station – one of the most insalubrious parts of the station – is undergoing renewal.”

“Okay, hands up,” the article’s author wrote in an update to the online version. “Central has recently had a bit of a spruce-up and public urination in Brussels may now be confined to that statue of the pissing boy, but the covered-up platforms of Brussels Central are as low-ceilinged as ever.”