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Talking Dutch

hoofdpijn

You may be one of the lucky ones whose head is always as clear as a bell. Others of you may suffer from the occasional hoofdpijn – headache, self-induced or not, which passes perhaps with the aid of an aspirin.

But don’t tell a migraine sufferer that they just have a headache. Migraine affects one in eight of us, though more women than men: één vrouw op vier, één man op twaalf – one in four women, one in twelve men. One difference from hoofdpijn is that uw maag van streek is – your stomach is upset.

Alistair MacLean
(June 23, 2010)

geheugen

When you see the words “research has shown”, you should reach for the salt. Yet, I thought twice when I read that it has been shown that being bilingual, apart from the obvious benefit, protects the brain from ageing.

Well, although I do my best to stave off the ravages of time, I occasionally find myself having a premature senior moment. Perhaps some brain training in Dutch is what I need. It’s not that I have a memory like a sieve – een geheugen als een zeef or als een garnaal – “as a shrimp”.

Perhaps I should be more mindful, though I wouldn’t get much done if I had to pause at every corner to absorb the scene.

Alistair MacLean
(June 16, 2010)

vooruit!

It’s good to talk, especially if you’re trying to master a foreign language. Go without talking, and, after quite short a time, you’ll be searching for the easiest of phrases. Reading, of course, is a great way to enrich your vocabulary but doesn’t always arm you with the right phrase in a conversation.

I’m deep in a Dutch book at the moment. The narrative carries the reader along: “Ik bleef naar haar kijken totdat een tram zich traag tussen ons in bewoog – I stood looking at her until a tram slowly moved between us.” Perhaps not the best extract from this thriller, but it shows how little in this sentence is of much use when chatting.

Alistair MacLean
(June 9, 2010)

juist

To err is human, which is small comfort when you discover you’ve written what some call a typo, but in fact is often a howler. Not all readers are divine enough to forgive; and to be honest it is fun finding fault with someone else’s writing. (Or perhaps that’s just me.)

Relying solely on spellcheckers to asses your writing is risky, as this sentence shows. In Flanders, you can turn to de Taaltelefoon – the Language Telephone, which is de taaladviesdienst van de Vlaamse overheid – the language advice service of the Flemish government.

At the other end of the line, a language expert will answer your questions on Dutch spelling – spelling, grammatica – grammar, uitspraak – pronunciation, stijl – style. I wonder if that’s the expert’s only job, just sitting by the phone in case some doubter calls to ask what is juist – correct.

Alistair MacLean
(June 2, 2010)

duif

I was feeling quite pleased with myself. The pigeon was secure in a covered washing basket in the boot of the car. The exhausted bird, which had flown in through the open bedroom window, was easy to trap. The ring on its leg showed that it was a racing pigeon – wedstrijdsduif, and I was off to the local café frequented by pigeon fanciers –  duivenliefhebbers.

Once there, I tipped the exhausted flyer onto a table and announced: "Die is zeker van één van jullie - This surely belongs to one of you" and persuaded a reluctant local to adopt the bird before smartly leaving.

A sign that winter has done its worst is the start of the solemn early-morning weekend radio incantations of the weerbericht voor duivenliefhebbers - weather forecast for pigeon fanciers, as they prepare to release their racers. A recent event will have made this forecast of even more interest.

Alistair MacLean
(May 25, 2010)

ongehoorzaamheid

We all like to be heard, but that’s nothing compared with the joy of being obeyed. Whether you are the master of a collie or of the universe, obedience is the ultimate reward. The Dutch horen – to hear gives us gehoor – hearing or an audition which gives us gehoorzamen – to obey, and gehoorzaam – obedient.

Much more interesting is disobedience – ongehoorzaamheid, though if there’s no punishment, then ongehoorzaamheid is a bit of a damp squib. Yes, cocking a snook at authority does add spice to life’s monotony. Or at least, that must have been at the back of Stijn Meuris’ mind in his recent publicly declared intention to be ongehoorzaam.

Alistair MacLean
(May 19, 2010)

daar

It’s often the small words that cause the learner the most grief. Regular readers of this column will have anguished at my occasional failure to use correctly the Dutch words het and de, which both mean “the”. Fewer problems should arise with daar – there. Nothing could be simpler you may think. And it’s often straightforward: zie je dat huis daar? – do you see that house there? or daar is het! – there it is! And so are some phrases: hier en daar – here and there, and tot daar – up to there. But it becomes trickier in its compounds.

The same way of constructing is used with all the prepositions: daarop – on that; daarboven – above that; daarna – after that; daarachter – behind that, enzovoort – and so on. Once you get the hang of it, and as long as you know the correct preposition, it’s quite easy: zijn antwoord daarop was voorspelbaar – his answer to that was predictable; daarmee kun je het schoonmaken – you can clean it with that. Sometimes the daar word refers to more than one: wat is het verschil daartussen? – what is the difference between them?

Alistair MacLean
(May 12, 2010)

kringloopwinkel

Spring cleaning – grote schoonmaak is in the air. The sun this time of year shows up the cobwebs, not to speak of all that recent dust and, before you know it, you are having a clearout. The trouble is what to do with all the rommel – rummage (“junk” is what other people have collected). If you have enough, you could hire a pitch and try to sell it at your local rommelmarkt – jumble sale or check the dates of the next Rommelant, a large second-hand fair held in Antwerp Expo.

You could search the small ads in your local paper in the hope of finding someone looking for just those items you are about to bin. I was disappointed not to find anyone looking for a perfectly good chest of drawers. Instead I discovered a great trade in prentkaarten – picture postcards and, strangely enough, doodsbrieven – mourning cards.

Alistair MacLean
(May 5, 2010)

wolk

Necessity is the mother of invention, and these are interesting times we are going through at the moment. Headlines such as Aswolk legt half Europa lam – Ash cloud brings half of Europe to a standstill, and Europa vleugellam – Europe paralysed (“wing-lame”) tell the tale.

Being left to their own resources has sparked ingenuity in those stranded far from home. Stories abound of how people have managed to make their way home. Take the Stevens family, on holiday in Spain. De held van de dag – The hero of the day was brother Pol who huurde een busje in Gent – hired a small bus in Ghent and drove 15 hours to pick up the family in Barcelona. I hope they shared the driving on the way back.

Alistair MacLean
(April 28, 2010)

nep

Some fakes are easier to spot than others. If you’re in a jeweller’s and find a gun pointing at you, you have to assume it’s real. And yet if it’s a neppistool – fake gun, you would assume no one is going to get hurt.

But then you have to remember that in Belgium jewellers are often armed ,and they schieten met scherp – shoot live ammunition (“with sharp”). In a recent robbery in Brussels, the jeweller’s gun was turned on him. And what did the robber have in his hand: het bleek een nepwapen te zijn – it turned out to be a fake weapon.

Alistair MacLean
(April 21, 2010)